Dreaming with a Broken Heart
by Missbubbles315
Summary: The waking up is the hardest part.


**I'm reposting this story under a new name. It used to be posted under MissMaraderette315. So if you think you've read it before you probably have... ;)**

**DISCLAIMER... I own NOTHING. Except Dawn. She's all mine. Song is John Mayer. Everything else is JKR.**

**_When you're dreaming with a broken heart  
The waking up is the hardest part  
You roll outta bed and down on your knees  
And for the moment you can hardly breathe  
Wondering was she really here?  
Is she standing in my room?  
No she's not, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone..._**

It started the same as all the others only different. Sirius couldn't explain it. It just felt odd. Like it was the end.

He pushed that thought away though. Standing up from the grass cushioned ground he made his way to the willow where he knew she would be. He was not disappointed as he saw her leaning against the tree waiting for him.

She looked exactly how he last remembered her. Faded jeans, pale pink shirt, her brown locks in a messy bun and her beautiful hazel eyes crinkled at the sides as she smiled at him.

"Hello Sirius." she whispered.

"Hello again Dawn."

"_Sirius I'll be back in a little while. I have to make a run to Digon Alley for a fitting with the girls. Do you want me to bring you anything?" Dawn asked as she pulled her hair into a messy bun. _

"_Just you love." He said as he wrapped his arms around her waist. _

_Dawn pushed back the black hair that fell over his gray eyes before kissing him on the lips. _

"_I'll be back as soon as I'm done. You know I can't stay away from you for too long"_

_His eyes shone with love as he leaned his forehead against hers. _

"_One week. One week and your all mine. How does it fell to be the future Mrs. Sirius Black?"_

"_Amazing but if you don't let me go soon I won't have a dress to wear at our wedding."_

"_I'm not complaining." _

_She smacked his arm playfully, "I'm leaving. I'll be back in an hour." _

_She pulled away and walked to the fireplace._

"_I love you." Sirius blurted as she threw flo powder into the flames._

_Before stepping in she blew him a kiss _

"_I love you too." And she was gone._

"You said you'd be back." Sirius whispered. He was afraid she would vanish if he spoke too loud.

"I know_." _her smile fell slightly.

"We were going to get married today."

She was silent; she knew this conversation by heart now.

He was still so hurt. She wished she could help him get over her but it seemed hopeless. Especially while she was doing what she was, which was why she came to the decision she had.

"Why? Why did you leave me? Why didn't you fight harder?"

The tears glistening in his eyes broke her heart.

"I understand that you're angry."

"No you don't. You don't understand anything. I hurt so much without you. I can't breathe. I want you back so much its killing me inside."

Now she began to cry. "I'm so sorry Sirius I never ever wanted to leave you. Please understand."

He looked her over, how he missed just holding her. Nothing had been the same without her.

_Sirius sat on the couch his eyes flickering between the dying flames in the fireplace to the storm raging outside the flat he and Dawn shared. _

_It had been over 3 hours since Dawn said she would be back and he was going out of his mind with worry. _

_He had checked with everyone to ask if they had seen her. _

_Now there was nothing more to do but wait._

_Just as he was going to try everyone again the flames erupted into green and out walked James Potter looking solemn. _

"_Sirius..." he begun but was cut off. _

"_James, Dawn still hasn't returned and I know the dress shop is closed. No one has seen or heard from her. I don't know where..."_

_James grabbed hold of Sirius' shoulders to stop him from pacing. _

"_Sirius stop. I... I know where she is. Now I need you to sit down so..." _

"_Where is she James? Why are you here? TELL ME WHERE SHE IS!!!"_

_Tears began to gather in his eyes as a sick felling of knowing washed over him _

"_Sirius there was a death eater_ _attack a Digon..."_

"_Where is Dawn, James?" Sirius stated calmer now than before. _

_The new calm scared James even more. He hated what he had to tell Sirius. _

_He himself could barely handle the truth of what had happened. Dawn was like a sister to him. _

"_She's dead Sirius. She was hit with a killing curse when she pushed Lily out of the way." James choked out tears in his own eyes. _

_Silence. _

_James feared his friend had not heard and he would have to repeat the terrible news. _

_Then it happened all at once. A gut wrenching howl tore from Sirius as he flung the chair he had been sitting in over, before falling to his knees and sobbing. _

_James did not know what to do other than fall beside his friend. _

"_It can't be true. She has to come back. I don't...I don't remember how to live without her James."_

"What am I supposed to do? My whole life was planned around us being together. We were going to have kids, you and I. What now?"

She reached out to him for the first time since the dreams began.

He tentatively stepped into her reach. She smiled through her tears.

"You are going to live for the both of us. You are going to be happy and are going to find someone new..."

He shook his head and pulled her fiercely into his arms.

"No I won't find anyone. You where it Dawn."

She pulled back to kiss his lips.

"Yes, you will. I want you to be happy. I want you to be the amazing father I always knew you would be someday. And... I want you to forgive Lily. I choose to protect her and the baby. It's not her fault. "

"If you had not pushed her out of the way you would still be alive." He argued stubbornly.

"But she wouldn't. " Dawn pushed his hair out of his face and looked into his eyes. "And neither would her baby. And James would be heartbroken"

Sirius closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against hers. He knew he was being selfish in not forgiving Lily but it hurt so much to see her alive and know that Dawn was not.

"I'm heartbroken."

"Promise me you will forgive her."

"I Promise."

"And Promise me you will move on."

"I can't do ..."

"Please Sirius."

"I'll try."

She reached up on her tiptoes to kiss him deeply.

"Please always remember how much I love you and that I will always be here with you."

Sirius nodded.

"Why does this feel like goodbye?" he asked as she pulled away and moved back next to the tree.

"Because it is. I can't keep coming to you in your dream Sirius. I'm not helping you at all. This will be the last time."

Realization hit him hard. This was the last time he would see her.

"No please I love you," he said as an overwhelming drowsiness fell over him. His legs would not move to her as he begged them to.

"You'll find someone, love. Someone to make you happy. I know you will and I will be watching over you."

His eyelids grew heavy as the scenery disappeared first and then slowly so did she.

_She was gone._

Sirius awoke tangled in his sheets reaching out to the other side of the bed, her side.

He knew it was really over. She had truly left him. His chest constricted as his eyes burned with tears. He turned to his side and curled his knees up to his chest.

The day of his would be wedding, and she was gone.

**_When you're dreaming with a broken heart  
The giving up is the hardest part  
She takes you in with your crying eyes  
Then all at once you have to say goodbye  
Wondering could you stay my love?  
Will you wake up by my side?  
No she can't, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone..._**

**Authors Note: You know what I love? Reviews. They make my day, so please review. :) **


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